Inspirationaly Conflicted

What a beautiful time… It’s the morning of day 3 with BBG and we are having a blast. So much done and so much yet to do. Many memories & moments created and to be created. It’s a nice day. Sitting on the rear of the ship looking at that big blue, the bubble trails and wake left from a path still being carved. Fellow cruisers eating breakfast and chatting about times then, now and tomorrow. She sits with her back to the sun a big brimmed hat blocking the sun while focusing intently on the task at hand. She is transferring very vital photos from her iPhone to her laptop, grouping the photos by event. She is stunning. A gift from my loins to myself. Ok, yes, God had something to do with it as well…. (Chuckle)

Back to the big blue…. It’s vastness creates a kind of volnerability and realization of scale that provokes thought into the spiritual. It raises my minds eye to a sharp razor edged pinpoint aimed at a clashing of both thought and reality. These worlds are seldom this close much less intermingled like cold fresh soft ice cream swirls… It’s reality itself is melting into a new form of reality. It’s a artwork now framed, it’s a gymnast sticking a landing after the most complex routine, it’s the big fish that didn’t get away and you got it all on your GoPro, it’s the birth of a spiritual child.
I am amazed and humbled, empowered and dazzled. I think I’m living… Really living. Not the day to day routine. Not the morning regiment to prepare for a day’s work, not the regular and predictable greetings among work colleagues or the traffic on the way to work, not the clock countdown awaiting the end of a shift or the rediculous commute home, not the eventual hugs and greetings from awaiting family, nor the preparation for dinner, the evening cadence, or late conversation while preparing for yet another night’s sleep. No, this is different. This is an awakening that only the divine revalation of self existence and the meaningful realization of how meaningless and meaningful we all are in the grand scheme of things. This is a mouth and nostril full of salty ocean water, it’s banging your knee while sliding your chair under an office table, it’s catching yourself by snatching your head up while falling asleep in church. This is the feeling in your stomach when looking over the edge of a tall building. This makes your heart race, your mind aware, your eyes stretch, pupils focuss, hair raise on your arms, and heightens all senses for what’s next. 

Having gone through this wormhole from the mondain into the radical causes a sense of enlightened and heightened purpose… What should be next and what am I to do about it? Why do I feel so responsible? 

Hmmm… 

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